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Re: Very little indeed on my mind annierose

Posted by Dinah on August 31, 2009, at 7:46:44

In reply to Re: Very little indeed on my mind Dinah, posted by annierose on August 30, 2009, at 18:05:16

It's a bit disconcerting to have so little awareness of myself. I have trouble remembering what day it is, trouble remembering if I've (for example) taken some Excedrin for my headache or not. My new computer seems to be working ok for now (knock wood), so maybe I can pull my head out from it.

I suppose I'm learning a lot. Unfortunately with computers what I learn today will be obsolete tomorrow.

I have a vague concern that my brain problems are physiological rather than computer based. I don't think the new meds are working.

I don't like getting old. If there's been one theme of my therapy lately, it's been my fear of turning fifty. I told my therapist I'm just too immature to be fifty. That once I get a certain age, my appearance and my manner will be too much at contrast, and I will look silly. He says I'll just look more schizotypal, which didn't exactly reassure me.

It's a tricky subject to discuss since he turned fifty a few years ago and had his own issues with it. I have to keep stopping to apologize. Although come to think of it, he's not as "young" as I am, so likely doesn't feel the same things that I do.




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