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Update from down under

Posted by CharlieGrll on August 27, 2009, at 7:05:53

Hi everybody.
The story so far. 2 years ago dad dies. 12 months ago mum died. My T of 10 years is now in the last days of his life. I have just been - as in yesterday - diagnosed with a potentially terminal condition.

So what am I sitting here feeling? Mad at myself for losing my temper with my co worker becuase he expected me to understand his feelings when he was dumping on me. I had been short with him in a meeting. It is a long boring story and I admit I do not respect him as a worker which is why I cut him off in the meeting. He was wrong. I didn't put him down. I did have an exasperated tone as this issue has been aroung for 5 YEARS and today I had enough of being nice. He knows about my parents but not my T or my health. Funny that.

The "good news" I have been referred to a new T. Not by old one. He got so sick so fast that there was not any time for goodbyes. Well that should fill the first session at least.

I feel bad that I hurt my colleagues feelings but I just don't have the patience to deal with his insecurites. I have enough of my own and the job is hard enough without him stuffing it up. Once upon a time I would have apologised but not today.
Today my feelings come first. And I am not going looking for him to see how he is and see if there is any resolution here. well not yet any way. I am too frustrated with him to do anything. And I know I will say hurtful things becuase I cannot live with my grief and fear.

Help. My world is caving in. Life hurts.




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