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starting + ending sessions

Posted by deerock on August 18, 2009, at 12:57:20

so yesterday my therapist starts the session 7-10 minutes late. often times, if things are really rocky or really intense, she will go a couple of minutes over and she often does not start right on time.

yesterday, i was having an extreme emotion and i looked at the clock. there was 7 minutes left. so i tried to relax and settle down to get ready to leave. she says "we'll need to stop for the day." i lost it. usually she goes over. this time she ends early. and she is ending early on a day where she started later than she normally does. why is she ending early im thinking? is she trying to teach me a lesson? nobody is in the waiting room. she is trying to teach me a lesson. maybe she has a call to make?

im taking a new medicine which may have resulted in my anger getting to this point...but i slammed the door to her office. i took my tea and threw it all over the bathroom wall and the cup actually went right into the trash can. i slammed the door to the outside of her office and went back to work.

i left a voicemail saying sorry. she called back and was like we'll talk about it next time, she didnt seem that pissed...but im sure she will draw some boundary around doing sh*t like that. ill blame it on the meds. she will say yeah, it could be the meds. and on it will go. and she will probably say she didnt think she was ending early. i will say you were ending early, i pay close attention to the time. and she will say well, you can have your view and i will have mine.

sometimes i think having internalized her makes me more angry than i was before. i dont like it when other people get in here.

thanks for reading.




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