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Re: Pros and Cons - Pragmatism!!!

Posted by Nadezda on August 17, 2009, at 10:24:24

In reply to Pros and Cons - Pragmatism!!!, posted by Dinah on August 17, 2009, at 0:00:45

I'm not sure if sunny mentioned this, but one thing they stress in my dbt group is that one cons of avoiding distress is that it often occurs around something you really want to do, or need to do.

So the avoidance is actually destructive because it prolongs the time when you haven't accomplished whatever it was-- when you're suffering from anxiety or concern, rather than moving forward-- You waste all that time taken up in avoidance, rather than making progress toward whatever you can achieve by the experience.

Another con is that avoidance intensifies the anxiety or other avoidant emotion. If you're afraid of something, for example, each time you put it off, or try to protect yourself, you reinforce the idea that the danger is real, and make makes it harder to overcome the next time.

Looking at the pros and cons doesn't necessarily help you to overcome the fear or discomfort, but do put it into a perspective that motivates you to work harder on approaches to overcoming them over.

Especially if there's an important goal that's also being delayed, and you can learn to keep your focus on the long-term goal, and to see the temporary discomfort as worth tolerating, it can come to be more present, and therefore more worth pushing toward.

At least for me. Although there's a lot more to it, of course.





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