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Re: therapy issues again deerock

Posted by fleeting flutterby on August 11, 2009, at 11:11:18

In reply to Re: therapy issues again, posted by deerock on August 11, 2009, at 10:12:12

> did your T, at the time, side with you, saying it was time to leave? or did the T try to encourage you to stay?<<

----flutterby: One time I told him it was difficult to be there and that I feel like leaving-- to which he said-- "then leave" so, I did, after only being there for 10 minutes.... but he always used the term - "resistance" to my not feeling right about this particular therapy. He tried to talk me into staying all the time. but I had to finally make a change as I felt there was just too much chaos/angst in my head.

I have yet to feel this "angst" with my current T., and what a relief it is!

> also,my main concern, this issue of hating the T, has come and gone for 14 months now.<<

---flutterby: I was like that. A few weeks would be good and I'd think--"why was I questioning and hating him?"... then back the hate would come and the confusion.... yuk... so uncomfortable-- was like this for over 2 years.

> additionally, the T tells me that she recommends i not leave but its my decision. so i try to override the desire to leave.<<

---flutterby: oh boy do I feel for you-- it's such a tough place to be in. I think most T.s will try and convince a client to not leave(mine did) coz they truly do want to help-- but some, even with all the best efforts, just aren't the right fit. It doesn't mean they aren't good T.s, they're just not right for that particular person- at that particular time.

---- I have a side thought here..... this may not be your case, just thought I'd share.... I have issues with men and I realized that having a male T. was more disruptive at this time for me.(even though I did have a female T. years ago, for a short time, that I also ended up quitting with as I got defensive with her too) ... having issues with males though and then having a stoic, stern male therapist just furthered some of my struggles. It just wasn't the right time for me to see a male. Maybe in time, with this current T., I would be able to see a male T. and get healing out of it, but for now there is just too much mental chaos in me to get much good out of that. does that make sense? could this be partly it for you too, but with a female?

Im not trying to talk you out of going to her-- just trying to help you to have things to think about. If you feel she is helping you then it might be good to stick out this "anger" mode and maybe she can help you get beyond it and see what's on the other side.

anyway-- wishing you the best in figuring this all out-- it's difficult, I so understand.





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