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Re: Disappointment or Relief? antigua3

Posted by fleeting flutterby on August 10, 2009, at 14:06:44

In reply to Disappointment or Relief?, posted by antigua3 on August 9, 2009, at 13:36:46

I'm sorry your mother didn't give you what you so very much needed. :o(
I can so relate. Yea, when I'm upset and have to speak to her, it turns into something about her or she denies everything I've just said, that took me months/years to get the courage to say....*sigh*..... yea, it's a tough place to be, I'm sorry.

I find it interesting that the first time you talked to her-- about your dad-- she was somewhat supportive. and then when asked by your psychiatrist if you would talk to her about these other things you replied, "no way"-- it's almost as if you already figured how she would react.

I suppose-- in answer to your question "Disappointment or Relief?"-- you could possibly feel both-- you think? Disappointed that your mother didn't comfort/support you and yet relieved that you've finally expressed what's been inside yourself all this time.... it's out there now and there's no more wondering how it will go.

not sure if this would be helpful for you-- but I've found a bit of solace in finding out what a wounded woman my mother really is.(she had horrific things happen to her as well when she was a child) Not that I want her to be wounded-No, no-- just that it helps to realize that she didn't necessarily neglect and abuse me just for the heck of it-- she often wasn't able to do any better-- to be a "good" mother..... (not that your mom is as mentally ill as mine, but maybe thinking this could help a little...) and I'm not excusing such behavior by a mother-- just looking at things with a different spin to it.... many times people do things or don't do things they should do, for some inner reasons-- they may not make sense or be good reasons to everyone else --but-- there they are just the same......

I feel for you and hope you can give yourself the comfort/support that you need.

best to you,
flutterby-mandy

 

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