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Re: Disappointment or Relief?

Posted by antigua3 on August 9, 2009, at 18:43:23

In reply to Re: Disappointment or Relief?, posted by annierose on August 9, 2009, at 16:41:44

> Your mother did hear your words. She chooses not to let it sink into any sort of consciousness.
Thanks, you're absolutely right and I have to remember that--she's incapable of it, and that's just the way it is.

So I guess that means I shouldn't worry that I told her something that might hurt her? (That was one of my primary concerns about telling her; I had to protect her from knowing what an even worse mother she was, but it didn't seem to faze her; that was pure projection on my part.) All it did was make her defensive.

I guess I should focus on what my T said when I called her while I was away: my secrets are all out. I don't have the burden of carrying them by myself anymore, and these feelings of needing to protect her won't build over the years as they did about telling her about my father.

I've waited for so many years to know "the things" that were holding me back, and now that I know, things seem to be moving at lightening speed. Maybe I just need to slow down a little.




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