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Re: The Other Side of the Relationship sunnydays

Posted by Ladybelle31 on August 7, 2009, at 22:06:18

In reply to Re: The Other Side of the Relationship Daisym, posted by sunnydays on August 7, 2009, at 20:07:18

I got something out of your post-thanks sunnydays for sharing your experience--I wish your therapist had given you a hug for comfort when you needed it, but although I've never asked mine I know he would say no ( he is very professional and always wears a nice sports jacket, suit, dress shoes, watch- I've never seen him dress casual) I actually realized i've never touched him ( he doesn't greet me with a hand shake and I'm all about having my personal space).
Anyways, trying to get back to original topic about if therapist's feelings are effected by us--I asked my therapist straight up after I sent him an upset email whether his feelings were hurt by what I had said--he was puzzeled and thought a few seconds before he responded-he said he read it initially and then took a few times to re-read it and consider my view point and thats where he concluded some of what I had mentioned was valid and he saw my reasons for being upset. I realized when asking him this it was kinda a trick question because the answer in words didn't matter as I found out the answer non-verbally by his pausing to respond and his wanting to pick right words did in fact show me I had some effect on him personally. That being said, I felt horrible after leaving and so guilty and sad for being so mean and angry at such a nice person clearly trying to help me. I think he does care about me and it's good for us to be aware that therapist's are real people too--since I think the goal of therapy is to help us learn how to build healthy relationships with other people and use our therapist's as a model to teach us these skills--it would't help us learn this without being forced to acknowlege your therapist's feelings are important as well, right? It's so hard and a constant struggle for me! I really appreciate everyone sharing these difficult stories


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Ladybelle31 thread:910727
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/910839.html