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Re: I fired my t

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2009, at 1:45:38

In reply to Re: I fired my t, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2009, at 1:40:27

and of course my image of my father was what enabled me to go on for the 7 years between when he left and when i ran away and ended up being put in a foster home. for 7 years i held onto my image of him caring for me. when he didn't. didn't think much on me at all. foolish... but i waited for 7 years. until i was 14. old enough then to make my own way in the world, i guess. but even then some get out much earlier. there are kids on the street at 12 without family there too. i guess i didn't know that. they would have eaten me alive. i waited for him.

and now he went and died on me. and i went back. figured he would have stuff he wanted to say to me before he went. he had nothing to say. my aunt (against my will) told him that i was disappointed that we hadn't had the chance to talk. he came out to mumble something along the lines of 'sorry about that i've lived a good life my time has come'. he had nothing that he wanted to say to me. he... didn't know me at all. he didn't want to. i don't feel like i knew him at all either. guess my stepmother made him up at the funeral and so on. wasn't about him at all. was about her image of him.

there is nothing to be done.

t didn't pull through for me on that one either. would have talked to me (skype) but 'too busy'. he doesn't have time.




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