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can someone tell me how they felt -experience

Posted by garnet71 on June 13, 2009, at 20:18:04

In reply to Re: New therapy from PDoc - can anyone explain? garnet71, posted by Phillipa on June 12, 2009, at 21:02:28

I realized what happened and am really blown away by this whole thing, so I just want to hear from someone that's been there, done that.

Now that I've processed this whole thing, I understand what happened. So new PDoc dissasembled all my defense mechanisms and regressed me to a child. I think I was about 4 or 5. I felt emotions I never consciously recognized. I felt like a vulnerable little girl. And I remember making these childlike movements, while I could not think, only feel, while he watched me. I felt like he removed my ego and exposed the unconscious part of my mind.

My defense mechanisms were intellectualizing everything that's happened to me all these years, and never feeling any of the emotions. I realize I never felt any bad emotions from childhood trauma-since I can remember. That's my defense mechanism. Also making humor out of all of it. All I remember 'feeling' as a child was feeling like an adult.

I am so fascinated and shocked because nothing like that ever happened to me before. I did not know another human being could to this to another person. I though I was just narrating my history of childhood trauma. lol.

Can someone just write-someone who had experienced this? It's so powerful but I'm still a bit confused. If I don't remember emotions, how could I know this is what I was feeling? I just know, but I can't explain rationally how I know.

And-am I going to feel dependent upon this doctor forever? I feel so needy with him. I am so attached. What happens when he decides to retire?

I already knew this was meant to be before I even met him.




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poster:garnet71 thread:900453