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Re: Did Your T Ever Get This Comfortable?!!?

Posted by Nadezda on June 9, 2009, at 18:43:12

In reply to Re: Did Your T Ever Get This Comfortable?!!? Dinah, posted by sassyfrancesca on June 8, 2009, at 12:26:11

To be honest, it is really upsetting to hear about the way your therapist treats you, Sassy.

Even if you think it's different, and it's only because you love him, and is a compliment that he does this, it's no compliment for someone to jerk another person around about their caring, commitment, desire for such-and-such kind of relationship. It's no compliment, and no kindness and certainly no contribution to a person's emotional growth, or ability to set boundaries and have them-- and the person's feelings-- respected, to lead someone on, to keep them in an on-again- off-again, push-me/pull-you relationship.

I realize that you are very dependent on this man and can't separate from him. For this I feel very very regretful, and I do understand how these things develop. But to be honest, if this man respect ed and really cared about you, he would stop seeing you, and refer you to another therapist who could help you. If he truly loved you, he could wait 2 years and start a real relationship with you.

I understand that it makes you feel special-- and perhaps he sees you as special-- but it's not at all clear from this man's behavior that he's able to understand and draw boundaries with anyone.

I guess I can't be supportive of the relationship, from all I've read of it, and perhaps this isn't supportive of you. I'm very sorry for the abuse you've suffered in your life and wish you the best in coping with it. But perhaps this man really is helping you in way that's actually hurting you more than you realize.





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