Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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It's nice to feel numb, I admit

Posted by FindingMyDesire on June 8, 2009, at 13:34:11

In reply to I'm OK, but why didn't she call me?, posted by FindingMyDesire on June 7, 2009, at 13:33:22

Figuring out something by this unfortunate incident that I brought on myself. I just needed to become so incapacitated that I could disappoint everyone, enrage my wife (instead of me feeling so much rage towards her), become the bad guy and divert attention away from my real problems so that I could just become the problem. It wasn't working to try to cut out my wants and needs so now I just don't feel anything. It's a weird floaty feeling. I don't even care if my T calls. (I think she said she would once I was sober but I'm not sure.) And I don't need anything from my partner. My shame has engulfed me. We have couples therapy tonight and instead of talking about hard things like last week (things I need/want), we will just talk about how terrible it was for my wife to have me to "check out." She can be justified in her anger now. I can take punishment well. I'm comfortable with that. I don't have to worry about wanting people to love me if they don't. I won't be disappointed for not getting things I want because now I know I don't deserve them.




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poster:FindingMyDesire thread:899835