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Re: dreams...long on my part sorry antigua3

Posted by rskontos on June 4, 2009, at 21:43:03

In reply to Re: dreams...long on my part sorry rskontos, posted by antigua3 on June 3, 2009, at 22:08:38


I too have had many things happen to me that followed I think because of my earlier abuse because I was conditioned not to fight and I dissociated immediately so I wasn't really there. So I get that.
I also get being afraid to trust the caring of your p-doc. I still question mine and he was honest in his answer which hurt at first but after I thought about it, it made perfect sense.

I also like you don't remember all of my abuse, just sometimes mainly the physical feelings. I have dissociated from all of it and my analyst says that I may not ever remember it and that is ok. That we can work past all of it. I had a bad dream last night but i remember it. I am sure if I told my p-doc we would explore it but I slowed down because I just got too upset with everything. I am taking things slowly now. The horrible feelings are there ever present but I am trying to make sense of now because then isn't something that will ever make sense. The abuse, the fears, the secrecy. No, none of that will ever make sense but I am hoping one day to stop the panic attacks, stop the xanax and feel somewhat healthier in my head. The parts may or may not blend but that will be ok too. I am learning to deal with things I hope better. My analyst says I have made great progress despite my own limitations to seeing the progress.

I am sorry you are suffering so. I hope it helps to have just some gentle support.

as always I wish you some nice sleep. I try sometimes to shape my dreams by telling myself this ongoing story I have made up to help me relax and go to sleep. Last night I did not do this and I had a bad dream. Maybe you can try it, telling a story to yourself like you would a child that has nothing to do with you. as far as you know.

again, may your sleep and days become more peaceful.


ps one of the only dream I shared I discussed up to a point how I disagreed and then just reflected on his opinion. But realized it is his opinion or view based on himself too. So you must only take in what you can and leave the rest behind. At least that is what I currently try to do. And I have to work up courage to tell him the one that involved him and the others.

Maybe I will tell you guys the one I did tell him. Although he did not tell me how he interpreted the dream it is a weirdly funny dream. I told him Freud would have a heyday with this dream of mine.

oh well friend take care until later, too bad we can't all be there for each in our dreams.




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