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Re: Could two therapists work? zenhussy

Posted by antigua3 on June 4, 2009, at 9:11:34

In reply to Could two therapists work?, posted by zenhussy on June 4, 2009, at 1:00:07

Ah, I'm an expert on this. :) But mine came about by happenstance, really, or maybe it was destined to be!

It's really, really difficult to do this, but if you have a "team" willing to work together I think it probably could work well. It's interesting to me that your T brought this up and that is a helpful approach for trauma survivors. I'd like to know more about this.

I have had the same female T for about 18 years now. She has been a wonderful "mother" to me and helped me raise three great kids. It took me years to trust her, but we have gotten to some really tought issues. And we could deal with the fall-out of my issues about my father (like being attracted to emotionally abusive, unavailable men, and I'm a very happily married woman), but we couldn't ever quite get to the issues. In retrospect, we both think that I was protecting her and viewed her too much as the "good" mother to deal with them.

My old pdoc moved unexpectedly (didn't even tell me!) but I just used him for meds. Sometimes we'd talk and I always found it interesting, but I've never become attached to any of the male pdocs I've seen over the years.

So, I started to see the guy who took over my old T's practice. It started off with purely meds managment, but my "male" issues started to rear their ugly head and he suggested that we start working together on a regular basis. I hated him for a long time. He is more CBT whereas my T is psychodynamic, but I did find his more stern, methodical approach very helpful (because it reminds me of my father). I've always had great difficulty in dealing with male authority figures, so here was the chance and I grabbed it. I had tried EMDR and even hypnosis at my T's suggestion, but I was blocked.

So, for the last year or so, I've been seeing them both for therapy. My T agreed, admitting that she thought I needed to work through my male issues with a male therapist. We have an understanding that if there is ever a time she thinks it's more harmful than helpful to work with him, she would let me know. There have been times where I've thought this to be so, but she has continued to encourage me to work with him.

But the problem with two Ts who aren't a team is that I waste valuable therapy time telling my T what has happened with my pdoc. I never do this with my pdoc, though. It's like my T and I are united in this one aspect, but it has become a problem now. Sometimes I don't know who to listen to. She is helping me work through these things with my pdoc, and while it has been extremely difficult, it has been worth it.

I wish my T and pdoc were a team, although that's a scary thought. But that way maybe I could extract myself from this triad. It's a goal.

My pdoc has never wanted to speak with my T. He told me early on that he doesn't believe in "long-term" therapy and that obviously I needed a different approach.

It has been a difficult journey with him, but we've made tremendous progress. I trust him now, after seeing him really for three years. So the trust can develop.

It depends on what and how each T is going to treat you. Do they divide up the duties or are you working on the same thing with both of them? But the fact they are working together is a great concept.

It hasn't been easy, but it has been helpful.

I imagine it would be tough developing trust with two new Ts at the same time. I would expect that trust to develop at different paces, given how they treat patients. But you do have an opportunity to start over, fresh, with two new minds working with you on your issues. I do recognize how hard it will be, though, to give up your current T. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

In any case, good luck!
antigua

 

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poster:antigua3 thread:899338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/899362.html