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Re: To All.. Sorry, but very, very long.. antigua3

Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2009, at 9:46:46

In reply to To All.. Sorry, but very, very long.., posted by antigua3 on June 3, 2009, at 7:55:33

Antigua, what I say may have a whole lot to do with my feelings about parts, so take with a pinch of caution.

I do not in any way, shape, or form, think any imagery that has to do with one part "dying" has anything at all to do with integration. If it had to do with integration, I think the imagery would have more to do with walls falling down, or joining in a beam of light. Integration does not involve any part of you dying, it involves embracing a part of you, dropping all that divides you from it, and accepting that it is part of *you*, not just part of the body.

My therapist would never ever ever hint in any way that any part of me, even the most difficult and angry and troublemaking part, should die so that the rest of us could live or grow or get better. Or even that it would be a good thing. He'd tell me to jump in that dang ocean, save that part of me, and he'd send out a rescue team.

You are not enhanced as a person if part of you dies.

Maybe that part of you is hiding. Maybe it feels overwhelmed or frightened, and it's gone beyond where you can feel it. I've had the experience before of totally losing touch with my emotional self for sometimes long periods of time. Maybe it's angry. Maybe it's sending the dreams to tell you how it feels.

I'd question him about your perception that he meant that the daughter needs to die. I can't imagine that that's what he meant. If he's the father, shouldn't the daughter feel safe?

I've heard stories of moments of integration, but I don't think they involved anyone dying. For myself, I suspect that integration will mean feeling something and not being entirely certain *who* felt it. And being less and less certain over time, until I just say that *I* felt it, and have no sense that there's two different feelings going on at all.

But my thoughts are heavily influenced by things I feel very strongly about. And everyone's experience is different.




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