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Re: I think I'm pretty self absorbed.... Dinah

Posted by obsidian on May 28, 2009, at 23:04:18

In reply to Re: I think I'm pretty self absorbed.... obsidian, posted by Dinah on May 28, 2009, at 9:19:06

> I'm not sure where your friend concluded that you didn't want to get better from that.

I'm not sure really what she meant by it, but I get the feeling that she is frustrated by my fears of rejection/abandonment...I don't know that she understands how powerful they can be. In a way, I hope that's the case, it'd be better for her. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


> I think everyone is relatively self absorbed. Even those who are also other-focused. And if you have a temperament where the world's intrusion can be painful and confusing, it's natural to not be all that other-focused in some situations.

I need the world in small and measured doses.


> If I'm understanding you, you are conscientious about trying to see things from other people's point of view. That doesn't sound like someone too self absorbed to me.

yes, it's exhausting actually.

>
> Some people understand, and others don't. Your therapist probably does, and likely isn't sick of you at all. I don't think he hates you, but I don't think you orchestrate the thought either. Maybe this friend just isn't someone who is capable of understanding, and you should limit your discussions with her to match her strengths and weaknesses. There's nothing wrong with that either. She has a different nature, a different way of viewing the world. That can be a great thing in a friend, as long as you take it into account when deciding what to confide.

She's got a lot of great qualities actually. I think she might be puzzled by these aspects of myself.
Today I feel like my T cares about me quite a lot actually (can we get a halleluia ;-). You know, generally when I am physically there at therapy I don't have these fears, it's when I'm not actually there that they are the worst, but then there are the times when I keep the fears to myself for a while and they build up.
Maybe I'm easily hurt, maybe it's some type of PTSD.

Thanks Dinah :-) I hope things are ok with you.
-sid


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