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Re: can't handle the transference blahblahblah

Posted by FindingMyDesire on May 28, 2009, at 8:51:54

In reply to Re: can't handle the transference, posted by blahblahblah on May 28, 2009, at 1:45:27

Hi blahblahblah,
I totally understand what you are saying here about the level of care your T can have for you. I don't like thinking about it as a kind she has for others that I can't have. (That would freak me out too at this stage I think.) I will say, however, that I believe our relationships with our Ts are unique, different, and magical. I mean they are intimate and intense, yet contained. There's nothing like it. Which is why they can't be like the other relationships our Ts have. I liked what Emmanuel said about realizing that he couldn't be a good friend. I don't like thinking about such things, but it's so true for me too. I hardly like to know anything about my T in reality. I always think I want to know more about her but then the knowledge makes me so uneasy. It's changes my relationship to her being all that I need her to be in my head. That's just me!

As for the meds, I don't know about those. I do know that whomever said it was OK for you to come off of them should know how that is making you feel - I hope. Yes?

Recently I talked to my T about having suicidal thoughts and it really, really helped. I sure hope that you can get some support from a care provider of some kind. Seems like a lot to bear on your own.

As for the second T to deal with the first - I crack that joke on occasion in therapy. I have really wanted that. Once my T was out on maternity leave for 3 months or so. It was so very, very terrible. I saw another T and all I did was cry and sob over not feeling cared for by the first T. It was terrible at the time, but ultimately pointed out the number one thing I needed to address with my T.

Mostly, blahblahblah, I hope you can have some compassion for yourself (much harder said than done) around your feelings and attachments. I now have so much faith that it's all about movement. The yearning and pain in one moment that seem unbearable, subsides the next. It might come back again, but I think it comes back with a new experience attached to it.



> Thank you for all the advice guys. Emmanuel98. I think if she told me she couldn't care for me like she does her close friends I would never go back. I know I have unrealistic expectations, I don't know. It all seems so hard. I started coming off my SSRI's the other day, and now I feel so much more depressed and suicidal. I don't know if that is just a side effect of the withdrawal. Thank you for the journaltip, I do Journal but not as much as i should be. Has anyone seen two therapists?? one to help get through the transference with one? Also, do any of you contract your T outside of the session? If yes, what is the protocol on that?




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