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Re: AAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!!! Sorry everyone for craziness! workinprogress

Posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 19:50:31

In reply to Re: AAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!!! Sorry everyone for craziness! FindingMyDesire, posted by workinprogress on May 20, 2009, at 10:38:48

Dear WIP, Thanks again and as usual your post and stories are so helpful. Even the next morning cause today I have been pretty much the same. At least I had work as a distraction, but could only barely get lost in it.

"think about my feelings and feel about my thoughts"

That is an interesting statement. I've been pondering it. I guess I should be pondering my feelings about it. I think I spend a lot of time criticizing my feelings. That's sort of like thinking, but not really the stated goal here. ;-) This must be similar to my T saying I need to try to be curious about my feelings (instead of beating myself up over them). As for feeling about my thoughts: Hmm. I think this relates to my trying to control myself by intellectualizing things instead of letting the feelings happen. I dunno. I will think more about that. Thank you so much for sharing it.

And, wow, what you said about the baby thing was helpful. I think that's the first time I have written about that feeling and I do have so much shame. And around being TOO- (fill in the blank with anything bad here).

I left another message for her today and expressed the worry again about being too much. She called back reassuring me, but this time she seemed really extra firm about the fact that it's OK to call her. Somehow I believed her this time. I don't know if she is sounding more parental or if because I'm feeling more childlike then I'm interpreting her that way. Anyway, it helped. I seem to respond to that.

Now, I just have to make it until I see her tomorrow night.

Oh, and then I have to make it through the session!





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