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Sh*t!!! I'm surfing the web again

Posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 4:09:28

In reply to Just looking for attention, posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 1:17:45

I can't stop myself. I really have NO SELF CONTROL right now. What is my problem? I have *not* been drinking nor do I have any other excuse. It's 2:00 AM now. I'm not clicking on stuff, just Googling and scanning the results. Which did mean I found another tiny profile photo which I snagged for my desktop. I didn't click on anything, THANK GOD. But I promised myself I wouldn't even look. I am just SO DESPERATE. I feel a little crazy obsessed right now. I *have* a wonderful message from her which I have listened to a thousand times. Why can't that be enough? How come I don't feel safely connected to her? She has totally made herself available as much as she can within her style and of course all of the therapist boundaries. Why do I want/need more? I literally don't know how I will make it until Thursday. And I don't mean in a dangerous way (for once). I just mean I can't stand being in my own skin without her right now. Yet, if she were sitting in front of me I would probably be crying and rejecting her support. I am totally a freak.




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