Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Just looking for attention

Posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 1:17:45

I'm supposed to be working. This is the second day of no concentration at work. So, I was supposed to make up for it tonight. It's 11:00 PM my time and all I'm doing is journaling about my crisis and trauma this past week, writing about my therapy pain, surfing the web for dumb photo applications so I can put more than one picture of her on my desktop (well, they are hardly pictures - just icons I found awhile ago - no, nothing new - I haven't surfed for her anymore), and tooling around with my music. Oh, and of course I have the recorded message of her sounding a bit firm with me as she is trying to pull me out of my desperation this week by telling me that she really wants me to not feel alone and that she wants me to know how much she cares about me. She also said she's "not going anywhere." Somehow her parental tone (which I rarely, if ever, hear) is so comforting to me.

This post may not make sense if you haven't seen my other recent posts, but to some it up in one sentence: I FREAKED out, bottomed out in the roller coaster valley, and told my T I wanted to quit therapy cause I couldn't take it (and she was going to let me leave after a few more sessions to discuss it). Anyway, I coming back up for air and I think I'm going to stay with it.

Tonight I just need attention. I feel like acting out but it's late and I need to work and what would I do anyway? I have to wait until Thursday evening to see her and I just feel so needy. I mean, I'm OK now. But the intense need for attention is amazingly strong. Anyone up late?





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poster:FindingMyDesire thread:896744