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Re: If T hurt you, would you go back? Birdsong

Posted by fleeting flutterby on May 19, 2009, at 10:58:05

In reply to If T hurt you, would you go back?, posted by Birdsong on May 19, 2009, at 9:16:06

> First, thank you all for your kind responses.
> I was with T for 7 months and it has been difficult. I don't know if we are the right "fit" but I am in so much pain. T did not make any attempt to contact me although I have missed 3 sessions. I am getting so depressed and I don't know why. T does not want me as a client.
> If you were me, would you call T? Or just recognize that you have been rejected again and try and move on?<<

---flutterby: argh!! just typed a whole long reply and my computer went down and I lost it!! argh!!!

---- anyway, I basically said that if I was in your place I'd not call the T. I don't think you've been rejected though, I think it's a lack of "clicking" or not a good fit, like you said.

I had similar happen to me. One session after having gone weekly for 8 months, after 5 minutes of silence, I said that I didn't care to be there today and he said, "There is the door, it's not locked you can leave"-- so I did. (I'm very quiet and non-confrontational. it took a lot for me to even say what I said outloud. I think I was hoping inwardly that he would say-- "can we talk about why you don't feel like being here today"..... but instead I heard-- "you are not worthy to question why you don't wish to be here-- you can just leave")

anyway, things never were the same after that-- it seemed he found a client that would not voice upset and thus hurtful things were said occasionally, and gradually I felt the wall between us grow thicker and thicker. I don't think I respond well to tough love-- I had too much "tough" without love- as a child..... it is way too upsetting for me.

I've since found a therapist that has much more compassion and empathy-- though the wall is still up-- I'm working on it getting thinner.

I hope that your journey will lead you to better healing, whatever you decide.

thinking of you,





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