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Re: Will I ever stop wanting/needing a 'Mommie?' LibraryGirl

Posted by sharon7 on January 26, 2009, at 10:01:02

In reply to Re: Will I ever stop wanting/needing a 'Mommie?' sharon7, posted by LibraryGirl on January 26, 2009, at 7:36:11

That's great, LG. Thanks for putting such a big smile on my face this am and making me laugh. Deidre Hall is a great one! Very beautiful, motherly. Yeah, as for the older, wheel chair bound t that you never imagined you would feel the 'mother-child' thing going on, one of mine (i think i was around 15 or 16) was an older woman (not a t) and she had polio so walked with crutches cuz she had no use of her legs. i would not have imagined she would be my fantasy mom but she was. she paid so much attn to me, made me feel i was important and special, not only to her but to the world, she taught me things, listened to me.. so maybe that means it's more about the way these 'mothers' treat us than anything to do with physical attributes? women i found myself drawn to, and i don't know about you, but i never planned to feel drawn to anyone in that way. In fact, ive often prayed "please, Lord, not this time" because as much pleasure as the experience brings, it also tends to bring nearly as much if not more heartache. im not saying i haven't had wonderful surrogate mommies in my lifetime and none really ended bad, but they always 'ended' as of course they would because people who aren't family do come in and out of our lives. and because abandonment is such a huge problem for us, these intense relationships do bring with them potential for a great deal of pain as well. this is so cool to be able to talk about this with someone who really gets it. i have never discussed this with anyone! But it's not like we ever 'plan' for this to happen. i think we did it/do it as like a survival kind of thing. i guess i can accept that it is natural and instinctive to want/need to be mothered when you are a baby/child but what is so troubling for me now is that i am not 14 anymore. im 44 and realize i still have the capacity/desire/need/longing within me to be mothered. at this age, thank God it happens a lot less! and i don't know about you, seems like of like one of those "Murphy's Law" things that when i feel i am at a place in my life (finally) where I feel i don't have to worry anymore about having those feelings for someone, think maybe ive grown out of it finally or something... boom.... Julie Andrews shows up, we're feeding deer from our hands and singing "the Sound of Music!" LOL!! Anyway, i could (and have) gone on and on about this, and i appreciate you listening. it's just so cool to actually be able to talk about this openly with someone i know completely understands. Thanks, LG!! - Sharon




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