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Re: Least favorite words/phrases from therapists.

Posted by wittgensteinz on January 24, 2009, at 17:48:47

In reply to Least favorite words/phrases from therapists., posted by Dinah on January 24, 2009, at 13:15:17

1. "that doesn't bring us further" - my T doesn't have many 'phrases' he uses repeatedly but this is one of the few and it tends to stop me in my tracks. He's said it about things like my suicidal ideation, and although it is a true statement it doesn't really help open up a discussion of the topic.

2. "Can I give you a penny for your thoughts" - usually if I'm silent for a rather long time. Often my thought is "you'll have to pay me more than that to get me to say what I'm thinking!". Usually I do say what I'm thinking sooner or later.

3. Another thing that I don't like is when I say something I think very important or significant (an insight or a memory, for example) and he just sits there and says NOTHING. I've also said in the past that some of my favourite moments in therapy have been those of shared silences but I should also say some of my worst moments have been those silences too. It's perhaps my own fault for seeing a Freudian analyst - sometimes I wish my T would just say something corny and patronising or at least something validating (actually just the things that seem to drive the rest of you round the bend). He did say once, after a break "I was looking forward to seeing you again" which caught me off guard and I went and responded with something cold like "I don't believe you" - if I recall I apologised in a mail afterwards.

Now I think of it, pdoc is more into the soppy 'empathic' statements and I don't know how to respond to that kind of thing "you should be proud of yourself for ....".

4. When he doesn't know how to say what he wants in English and says it instead in French (he's Dutch). Why he says it in French is beyond me because my French is very basic (he is fluent) - is he trying to impress me? Then he says "do you know what I mean?". I like it when I say something he doesn't know and he gets all enthusiastic and gets out his dictionary. I also like it when he talks Dutch, his native language, because his voice sounds softer, gentler. I kind of want to switch to just doing therapy in Dutch but I don't like the idea of making mistakes in front of him.





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