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Re: Favorite child antigua3

Posted by DAisym on January 23, 2009, at 17:08:22

In reply to Favorite child, posted by antigua3 on January 23, 2009, at 10:17:05

My younger brother loves to still say, "well, that's because you are dad's favorite." He is absolutely right, but he has no idea (does he?) what being the favorite meant.

So I would probably have the same reaction you are.

But what I know is that the word "favorite" has different meanings for different people. So while you might love all your children equally, you may enjoy them differently. You can appreciate all their different qualities, and yet one is easier to brag about than another. This happens with my middle son - he is really outgoing and is always doing things that make "interesting" stories. My oldest, who is a lot like me, is much quieter but he is a wonderful young man and I'm really proud of him and what he has accomplished. And the youngest - well, he and I are super close, but he is harder than the other two right now because of his age. So to an outsider, it might look like my middle kid is my favorite because he is the one I talk about the most.

I bet if you ask your children, you will be surprised at their answers. Kids are amazingly perceptive - but sometimes the reasons they've assigned to something - like one kid is mom's favorite - are different than ours.

Seems like this is one of those areas that leads straight to the abuse topic - and your feelings about being responsible, the shame of being the favorite and how much pressure you were under. Touchy, but important stuff.

 

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poster:DAisym thread:875590
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/875663.html