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Re: My bubble has burst Nadezda

Posted by wittgensteinz on January 23, 2009, at 13:32:09

In reply to Re: My bubble has burst Wittgensteinz, posted by Nadezda on January 21, 2009, at 14:49:39

The thing with me is that when I'm feeling 'down' it's not just a matter of depression - or just a matter of depression and anxiety. I get into these panics that will last for an hour or so where I feel completely helpless, dissociated, and suicidal - in these states I verge on delusional and am a danger to myself (not to others, just to myself because of the anger I feel toward myself) - for others they might not even notice anything is 'up', although my bf is very good at recognising these episodes. The last few days I've had this each evening while trying to get to sleep and I didn't know what to do with myself. It's a very scary place to be, even these states don't last that long. Afterwards it's very hard for me to understand what's happened. This is exactly what happened with the last OD - I woke up the next day in hospital and had great difficulty in remembering what and why it had happened. It's like entering an altered state of identity and reality - afterwards I remember it but as if I am observing as a 3rd person, I can't remember at all 'feeling it'.

Ok, I've gone on rather too much. I hope this doesn't all seem too weird.





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