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Re: I want my therapist to be less careful

Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2009, at 23:14:22

In reply to Re: I want my therapist to be less careful, posted by seldomseen on January 22, 2009, at 20:49:14

> So, I think what I am hearing say is that your theraputic relationship is strong enough to withstand whatever it is he might have say.
> But you think that your therapist isn't convinced of that fact and still is very much in the "therapeutic relationship nurturance mode".

Yes, except that I wouldn't say precisely nurturance. I'd say more "I'd better not say that or I'll never hear the end of it." Like the great schizotypal argument of 1998-2000. :)

But it's different now. Then when I heard schizotypal, it was overlaid with "She's really odd. She dresses oddly. She never makes eye contact. She doesn't maintain deep relationships with other people. She engages in magical thinking. She wishes she had married her dog, for heavens sake." And I might mention that I was right in thinking he thought that, because as you may know, I'm semipsychic and could feel that he felt a bit of contempt and a lot of irritation towards me.

Now if he says schizotypal, it would be overlaid with "She's wearing her braids again. She is very afraid of being hurt because she has been hurt in the past. She has such a funny way of expressing herself sometimes. That is so "Dinah". I'm so pleased she has found people who can appreciate her for who she is." Because as you may know, I'm semipsychic and can feel that he is very fond of me, and cares about me very much.

It would be totally different, you know?

> You know, I have a really bad habit of telling people to just say what's on their minds - not to worry I won't get mad. But you know what? I get mad. In fact, I've really got to quit saying that.

lol. I never would say that precisely. I don't know that I want to know what is on anyone's mind at any given moment. And that would include my therapist. I still prefer my truth beveled and polished. But I would say that I am willing to hear anything said with love. (That may mean that sometimes everyone - my therapist, husband, and son included, should keep their own counsel.) And I trust that most of what he would say to me would be said with love.

> Perhaps instead I should say something like, just tell me what's one your mind, don't worry I'm sure we can deal with whatever it is.
> Maybe *that's* what you need to tell your therapist.

Yes, I think that may be a good thing to tell him.

> On the other hand, do you worry that you might actually be trying to bring you therapist regard of you to be more in line of what you think of yourself? You know you've indicated more than once (and it's stuck out to me each time) that
> "If anything, I think he thinks better of me than I deserve."
> Just a thought.

An interesting thought. Is it possible I might wish to encourage him to tell me less positive things because I think he's thinking too well of me? Or maybe he doesn't think that well of me, but just wants to encourage me. I think I'd feel fake encouragement though. It always makes me want to do the exact opposite of what I'm being encouraged to do. Admittedly, it does make me feel anxious. The tyranny of high expectations.

> Meanwhile my therapist and I are in a really good place right now. He hasn't pissed me off in a good long time.
> Although, I DID go to the office the other day AND the door WAS locked. I just let it slide....
> Seldom.

That is wonderful!!! I was wondering how you were doing with your therapist. It's amazing that when we're in a different place, the same situation can mean something else entirely.




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