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Re: My so-called family Trotter

Posted by Dinah on January 20, 2009, at 12:02:08

In reply to My so-called family, posted by Trotter on January 20, 2009, at 2:03:01

I'm afraid I really don't understand enough to comment. You say they tried to be dutiful parents, but that they didn't know how to love. Could you describe it more? Did your mother physically or verbally abuse you, or neglect you? Or was it more that she wasn't a warm person, or didn't express affection? Your father was gone a lot, working?

I'm guessing that you would probably need to be more specific in exactly what behaviors you want them to apologize for. Are you and your therapist working on that? As a mother, were my son to tell me I didn't know how to love, or that I was dutiful yet unloving, I would be distressed beyond measure, but I'm not sure I'd understand what it was I'd done wrong or what I could apologize for other than clearly failing him in a fundamental way.

Of course, I realize that you might not wish to share the particulars with the board, and that's perfectly understandable.

It must hurt to be so angry. I hope you find the peace you hope for in this encounter.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:875095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/875134.html