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Re: How are you doing now? Kath

Posted by obsidian on January 19, 2009, at 23:03:33

In reply to How are you doing now? (nm) obsidian, posted by Kath on January 19, 2009, at 15:21:37

thanks for asking Kath :-)

quiet desperation...is the phrase that comes to mind
I'm ok, but I'm feeling kind of depressed
I seem to have this pattern...I get into some low mood, I feel overwhelmed, I keep moving, and then I think..'If I can just take care of this, and this'.. etc, then I do, and I start to feel a bit more in control

overall, I don't feel safe. I don't relate this to any real danger (from myself or anyone else) or some concrete issue in my life (but believe me, I have a lot of concrete issues to deal with), but I feel fearful and sad. I can cry really easily and I feel pretty fragile.

Since just after the holidays I've been feeling kind of shakey. scattered and shattered- I wish I knew why those words seem to fit so well- the "scattered and shattered"
http://www.stingetc.com/lyrics/lithium.shtml
see above for what I'm referencing there

It's really not like me to do what I did the other night. I just don't like how I feel right now. I spent a lot of time smoking pot in 2008, now nothing, and I've got to say I am pretty damn addicted.
I'm going to try and take care of myself and see how it goes. I wish I could see my therapist more. I only saw him once in the past 4 weeks. now that last sentence makes me feel needy, because well, I am. there's always sleep right? I can always do that provided I have the time.

well, aren't you sorry you asked that question? ;-)
Hope all is well with you kath,
sid


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