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Re: Good blurb bout D.I.D.

Posted by muffled on January 13, 2009, at 15:21:07

In reply to Re: Good blurb bout D.I.D. Wittgensteinz, posted by Looney Tunes on January 13, 2009, at 14:26:59

DID is the top end of a whole spectrum of dissociative disorders.
Note the word, disorder. its not a disorder unless it is causing problems.
I have yet to see the Tara show. Just seen the clips.
I know the ISSTD people are very interested in wassup w/it and are going to be inviting their members to comment their opinion once they have had a chance to see the first segment.
I don't think that anyone who does not have a dissociative disorder, a close relationship with someone with a dissociative disorder can make ANY comment on whether it is real or not. They have a right to their opinion, but they need to remember that for them to say to a DD person, it doesn't exist, is incredibly hurtful.
I am not DID, but DDNOS(if we MUST aplply labels here....), but many of the features are the same.
It DOES exist. I am living it. I am a rational, reasonably intelligent, at times very articulate person.
You would NOT know I had a DD. You might consider me a bit eccentric, but thats about it.
I go in denial about it regularly, but then I seem to be confused alot, and when I try to understand whats happening to me, nothing makes sense. When I STOP the denial and try to figure things out,its astonishing to me as everything just fits. Like a puzzle, the pieces just keep falling into place. Makes it hard to deny then.
I did not want this disorder. At times I truly hate it. Sometimes I do not mind it. Sometimes it is in fact helpful, sometimes it causes problems and distress.
It is a HUGELY misunderstood disorder cuz its freakin BIZARRO! I am in the midst if it and it s NUTS. Ridiculous etc etc etc. I am deeply ashamed that I am so weird. That I can't just stay 'me'.
As for memories, I have none. Why I am this way I have NO idea. I think its got to do w/my base personality, and perhaps genetics etc.
Memory is an EXTREEMLY complicated subject. It involves the intricate structures og the brain. The brain is SO somplex. They still don't undertsand how memeories are laid down or retrieved. There seems to be various sytems used at diff times of life, and in diff sdituations. And diff people remember diff ways.
So while I UTTERLY agree that there is no doubt clients have been misled, either by their therapists or by their ownselves, I ALSO beleive that memories CAN be reclaimed. The ACCURACY of the memes I am VERY cautious about, as they can have been encoded in diff ways, or had error in encoding or retrieval, or we in our humaness can 'fill in' the holes to try and make sense of them.
Its a HUGE subject.
I think memories, even seemingly contiguous memories need to be handled with a great deal of care.
So I have no memes, and sometimethere are flashes. But mostly I just feel the fear. I honestly don't think I will ever know, and honestly don't have any desire to know, other than sometimes I get frustrated with WHY I am the way I bloody am. I get frustrated.
I don't think retrieval of memes is at all requiered for treatment.
Treatment is anothe rwhole subject...
So in closing, I feel everyone is intitled to their opinion, but I would hope that those with dissenting opinions could present them with care.
I am the way I am, if you say I am not....then you are essentially telling me I am crazy.
I don't really have mems, those who say if I don't then they don't exist....then how I am here? I must have been a child, and grown up to be who I am.
I could go on all day, but I am very tired and fear I am not being as nearly clear as I would wish to be, about something that is very important to me.
As far as the Tara show. I have not seen it yet.
As far as Kluft, I think he is very respected. It could be he made a mistake at some time in his career, so who DOESN'T????? his career in DID has been LONG and public, it would srike me as VERY odd if there were no controversy.
Lastly now...finally.
There have been people that have been hurt, been traumatized by others incorrect memory. I can't even begin to imagine how they must feel, and so I understand their anger.
I agree with them that we need to be HUGELY careful with these memories.
Some are true, some are a mixed bag. But what is REAL, is that the person WAS hurt, the how may never be fully known. But they WERE hurt, and that is why they split.
For someone to tell people the mems are untrue,well that is just perpetuiating so many hurts to the already hurt, but accepting there WAS hurt, in whatever form is a TRUTH and that is enuf.
Best wishes to all.
Sorry if this has come out wrong.
God I am so tired right now.
M

 

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