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If I have to learn another lesson about boundaries

Posted by Partlycloudy on January 13, 2009, at 12:53:49

I'm gonna scream.

And it doesn't feel empowering, it feels like I'm totally stupid that I'm 46 years old and just asserting myself NOW. Like, I thought I did this, um, 25 years ago. Where did that young confident woman go? That I have to learn how to do it all over again, but it hurts to do it this time?

And that word to describe myself has crept back into my vocabulary. LOSER. I feel like I'm such a LOSER. It's that imp that resides in my brain all the time but it's voice is so much louder now. I used to drown out the voice with gin and (whatever, sometimes just ice), but that hasn't been a option for a long time now. You'd think that would be enough for me to think, well you're no Loser any more, look at what you've done! But that imp just finds something else to jabber on about.


Those boundaries. I guess I don't really want to talk about it. It's just that this is their year.

Blech. Super blech.




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