Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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some good news, Finally

Posted by B2chica on January 9, 2009, at 10:58:47

but LOTS of emotions and confusion going along with it.

i'm pregnant.
but i'm all kinds of freaking out.
one, i'm very emotional unlike my last preg., but i also just stopped taking my AD last week when i started to get symptoms...i took a test then and it was negative but i figured it might just be too soon...then sure enough..positive.

-but i've already had a couple nightmares about my 'family' hurting me while i'm preg and vulnerable.

-i've been crying off and on this week.

-but the main thing is since it started i was worried that i'd have twins (since i had to do fert. meds). but i've thought about it so long that i am TOTALLY fine with it and in fact dont see this preg as anything BUT with twins.

-but looking back at my 'chart', now im paranoid that there could be more! i mean i think i may have ovulated twice (my T said that's what happened to her), and the second time i ovulated i had cramps so i could have release 2 eggs!
so now i'm FREAKING out that there could be more than two.

-i was originally scheduled to have my sonogram next tues after my t appt. but i think i will seriously need support so i just called and changed it to 10:30 tuesday.
now i am just trying to calm myself. i mean financially alone there is NO way we could afford triplets, but let alone emotional support. my husband would probably go off the deep end. and i KNOW i would have no family support on my end.
i'm just scared to death.

but on the other hand, my T asked yesterday if the sonogram reveals that there's only one how would i feel. she was concerned that i would feel a loss. and i told her absolutely. just everything in my body tells me there's more than one inside me. and i've gotten so used to that, that if there's only one, i WILL feel like i lost one. even though i haven't.

so even though i should be enjoying myself right now...i can't. i'm just so worried about next tues. when my whole world could change. and well, will change no matter what.

i guess too i've been waiting what seems like forever for this next baby and i just pray it/they are healthy.

please pray for me that there are only two!





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poster:B2chica thread:872953