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Re: what do you think? raisinb

Posted by workinprogress on January 8, 2009, at 1:11:04

In reply to what do you think?, posted by raisinb on January 7, 2009, at 21:26:24

I so relate! I was lucky in that I said something about connection or something... way back when... and my therapist said "oh, it sounds like you want a transitional object". I think it was around a voice mail. And she did it. But she said, do you want something more tangible, something you could hold. I said that seems childish and little... she said it's ok to be little with me. Several weeks later, I sheepishly said... yes, I'd like something. I have a little bear... teeny tiny, fits in the palm of my hand, or therabouts. Since Oct of 2007 it has gone from the grips of my hand while I sleep to my bag for the day and back. I have a couple of voice mails. And, I have a picture of her with a note on the back. Some nice words that she said to me and I said... can you write that down. And another picture she gave me when I went away on to a music festival for a week and was afraid to take the bear bc I might lose it. We have a good dialoge about this stuff now, but it was hard before.

It felt weird. I felt weird, but, it is helpful and comforting. Just the other day, when I went into my "I'm too needy, my T has finally figured out I'm repulsive and needy"... place.... I pulled out the picture with the note. It stopped the flooding. So helpful.

I think if your T is willing to do any sort of bending of boundaries, even the slightest, you two could figure out something. But, even if she won't, she'd get it and it would be a good conversation to have. I'm sorry she hasn't brought it up, that makes it easier. BUT... the preciousness of the object, the safety, the security... for me... worth all the fear. You don't know though until you try... and the unknown is scary. I SO GET THAT. Happy to talk more if you like...



> My therapist is going on maternity leave soon. She will be gone for six weeks, from mid-February to the first week of April. It will be very, very hard for me. I don't know how I'll get through it; I'm just trying to trust that I will somehow, and maybe it will be a good opportunity to test my wings, in a way. She keeps trying to get me to see another therapist in the practice (whom I've seen before--nice guy) but I just don't see how it will be worth my time--and might just make me feel worse.
> Anyway, as the time grows closer, I find myself wanting a "transitional object"--like a tape with her voice on it, or an object from the office--just *something*--you know, like a small child with a blanket. I don't even know if this will help. But I understand the desire of a toddler for that blanket, I can tell you.
> I know therapists traditionally cannot give their clients gifts, and it's weird to "ask" for something like this anyway--and how would I even bring it up? And what to ask for? Is this a weird request? What do you guys think?




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