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Re: I'm really depressed.

Posted by lucie lu on September 4, 2008, at 16:11:05

In reply to I'm really depressed., posted by JayMac on September 4, 2008, at 12:39:44

Jay, I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling so down. Your posts are so warm and caring; I feel bad that we can't hug you more tangibly - so let's pretend - hug, hug, hug

(((((((((((((((((( Jay )))))))))))))))))))))

(You could repeat this with your arms around your pillow - I like hot water bottles, too)

Feel any better?

You know, one thing I learned from therapy is that all people tend to regress when they are stressed. Not regress in the goo-goo sense or any perjorative way, but just returning to or maybe even just becoming more tuned in to more basic feelings than those we typically focus on in the course of our busy adult lives. I have noticed in myself that when I am really stressed, I may exhibit more dependent behavior to my T than I would normally. I might find myself needing check-in calls, which I haven't needed for a while. He always complies and then when he calls, I feel silly because I feel like I am way beyond that stage and don't want to feel like a baby! What I really want is a hug, and if I just shut up that voice that's calling me a baby, I might be able to feel hugged by his call.

For me at least, it helps somewhat to know that these needy, comfort-wanting responses are totally human and a perfectly understandable reaction to our stresses. We all need mothering, and with any luck you'll get some from all sorts of sources, including here.

Hope you're feeling better soon. Hug, hug, hug.

Love, Lucie




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