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Re: An Update - long, mild triggers JayMac

Posted by Daisym on September 1, 2008, at 21:35:07

In reply to Re: An Update - long, mild triggers Daisym, posted by JayMac on September 1, 2008, at 2:52:00

It is difficult to think that we fight against our own unhappiness. My therapist described it this way - I seem to operate in a fairly narrow band-width. I keep fairly contained - not exuberant and not too emotional, on either end of the spectrum. When the band-width expands - due to happiness - the potential for other emotions also expands. So the good and bad go together in that I am capable of feeling more. Sometimes more really stinks.

I need to practice getting my brain to reopen when it closes down. We can see it happening - like an electric garage door that swings slowly shut. The words run away and I'm out the window. Last week I stopped talking mid-sentence. He said, "are you just going to leave me hanging here?" I stared at him - I had no idea that I'd stopped that way. He said he never knows how to help me when I get stuck like this. Sometimes asking questions opens things up but sometimes it makes it worse. I'm trying to get use to silence but it builds into anxiety for me. I think fear strangles the brain and it stops breathing. It is only later that I can really figure out what has happened.

Thanks for reading and the thoughtful response.




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