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Re: An Update - long, mild triggers Daisym

Posted by Tamar on September 1, 2008, at 16:26:55

In reply to An Update - long, mild triggers, posted by Daisym on September 1, 2008, at 2:00:17

Hi Daisy,

It's so great that you met someone! And yeah, I've noticed too that just as things start feeling a bit better, something comes out of (what seems like) nowhere and hits me in the guts. I tend to hope it's because I'm in a better place to be able to deal with it, but it doesn't usually feel that way.

I'm so glad your therapist realised what was wrong without your having to spell it out to him. Mine does that sometimes, and it makes life a bit more bearable. (When he doesn't realise, it takes me months to bring it up again.)

I admire his description of what went wrong: that he dissociated away from the memory with you. I think that makes a lot of sense. I can also imagine he was very happy for you for your new relationship and that, perhaps like you, it seemed unfair to him that you had this awful memory just when things were seeming better. And at the same time, a patient's new relationship can also cause changes in the countertransference, so maybe he needed to adjust to that a little.

You know, I've never imagined you as a difficult patient. Of course your material is sometimes horrific, but your own bravery in facing it is undoubtedly a source of inspiration to your therapist. You're so courageous and committed to the therapeutic work that I always imagine your therapist must find working with you very rewarding, and I'm sure he admires you enormously.




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