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Re: An Update - long, mild triggers Daisym

Posted by sunnydays on September 1, 2008, at 11:04:59

In reply to An Update - long, mild triggers, posted by Daisym on September 1, 2008, at 2:00:17

I hate it when we don't get back to something that I thought was really really important but don't have the courage to bring up a second time. I just recently this week brought up something that happened months ago that I haven't been able to bring up again until now. I sometimes get surprised that my T doesn't seem to 'get' how big certain things are to me. It sounds like your T is beginning to show you he is human too, and that the idealization phase might be waning. This happened a lot recently with my T, and my T says that being able to show him anger like that is a sign that I am 'growing up' internally because it is acting more like a teenager with him and less like a little kid. And he says that is a good thing.

But I know how very hard it is to have something like that that you need to talk about it and they can't just read your mind or they make a mistake and don't bring something up again. I'm glad you eventually were able to at least express the anger and were able to connect with him over the weekend.

You will figure it out. Isn't 'rupture and repair' supposed to be one of those healing things about therapy? It's so hard on us, though, I kind of wish it could always be perfect and good.

You are so brave, Daisy. Your T can handle this new memory, and you two will work past the rupture. You can do it! Keep on keeping on.





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