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Re: An Update - long, mild triggers Daisym

Posted by JayMac on September 1, 2008, at 2:52:00

In reply to An Update - long, mild triggers, posted by Daisym on September 1, 2008, at 2:00:17

> So why, in the midst of all this good stuff, did I get a horrible new memory?

Many times I think the same thing. I'll be doing really well, I'll re-remember something from my childhood, then I'll suffer with the anxiety of remembering and the anxiety of telling my T. I agree, being happy is SCARY.

I think it's because we are soooooo used to being in a constant state of depression, anxiety, etc. that when things are good we suspect something is wrong. And sometimes, something is wrong. And sometimes our unconscious brings up these memories for us to bring us back to the state it's used to. Our unconscious is used to being sad, depressed, lonely, angry, etc. It doesn't know much else. Our unconscious, in a weird way, likes what we are used to. When we go against what we are used to, things are stirred: our minds remember things that make us want to revert to our old selves. But it's the un-stirring, sort of speak, it's the understanding of the memories where the work of therapy comes in.

> I'm ashamed and worried that he will leap out of his chair and scream, "enough! No more bad things. I can't hear anymore!" Or worse, he will begin to wonder if any of it is real - where have these memories been hiding and how can he believe them? I'm not even sure I do.

You don't have to do anything other than continue to go and speak with him. He believes you because he cares about you. There is no need for you to get him to believe you. He already does. He can take your pain and help you mold it into something more useful for you in the present. The past CAN become a useful tool for the present. It takes MUCH MUCH MUCH hard work, but he obviously believes in you. And I can tell that you believe in yourself.

> Sometimes I just don't know what I'm thinking, or feeling.

When you don't know what you are thinking or feelings, try to telling him you don't know. Sometimes, I can't tell if I'm feeling one feeling or another, but when I talk about it or write about it in my journal, then I can get a better grasp on the situation. Also, not all thoughts and feelings need to be thought or felt in the exact moment they come (if that makes any sense). Sometimes it takes a little while for our brains to process everything going on.

> If you've read this far, you are a trooper and I thank you. I guess I just wanted to share what was happening with me. I think I'm glad not I'm not my own therapist - I feel like such a hard patient.

YOU are a trooper for going this far in your relationship with your T.

Take care!
JayMac


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poster:JayMac thread:849617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/849620.html