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Re: ((((Susan)))) » lemonaide

Posted by susan47 on August 31, 2008, at 14:11:47

In reply to ((((Susan)))) » Racer, posted by lemonaide on August 31, 2008, at 12:20:44

> Racer and Susan,
> I totally understand the need to have validation about what your T did to you. My T has problems doing this and has offered me to talk to someone else regarding this, at least he is being honest with me that he has trouble doing it because of his own issues.

Not much from him and his ego, but at least it was something. The problem is that he may not be honest with himself or with you, actually, because his own issues may not trouble him in the least.

> I was looking for an apology in the beginning, but now I know that will never happen, my T didn't want me to send him a letter yet to my old T, not being able to really vent and have validations from my T about my old T, I felt trapped with those feelings.
I just got lost in the logistics of this, sorry .. but an apology from anyone carries an admission of wrongdoing, and that may be too much for an overextended ego to deal with. I think T's generally suffer from this condition, psychiatrists as well.

> I had a blog and a posted my poems about what happened and yes I put his name on it. At first it was out of anger, but now it is for justice of what he did to me. I don't plan on contacting the licensing board, it would only hurt me more hearing what he has to say in his defensive stance.

I agree. We're WAY TOO VULNERABLE in a "therapeutic" (HAH!) relationship. (HAH again, as any man or woman who cannot be in an honest relationship with him/herself has ZERO chance of positively affecting the outcome of a relationship with a co-partner in healing. ANY RELATIONSHIP has to be either healing or damaging, there is no in-between; relationships are psycho-dynamic and I am so angry with the profession for ignoring the very thing they are supposed to be working on. F*CK THEM. And f*ck my ex-dear-T, whose initials I have openly used, and hints I have given about where I reside, which city I live in, and where, because I want someone to know this was done, I want someone to know. And it won't make a whit of difference to the one person who could have righted all the wrongs. Because his silence, my dear, is Stony. And it is cutting my feet to ribbons.

> My whole life I had to hide what others did to me, no longer. If my T is upset what I wrote in my poems, well good then, maybe he will change the way he does therapy. So for me I have a way to say what he did, and how it made me feel, and I don't have to hear his b*llsh*t defensive responses to it.

Absolutely. The pen is mightier than the sword.

> I really don't care what others think who happen to read the poems think, let him answer the questions to those who ask, like his wife, family and colleagues who matter to him. I don't need the answers anymore, they don't matter to me, but I won't hide what he did to me.
And your job is to be as open and public about this as possible while still getting the respect you deserve, for being a human working on your human frailties, and for having the courage to stand for Love, for what's Right in the world, and exposing those who only pretend, for their own ego's gratification.

> I have had my part in this I know but.......... even my husband has told me this, It wasn't like a normal relationship where both parties have a part in it, it was a professional relationship. I was paying him to help me, he is suppose to do no harm and act in my best interests, so he has the responsibility of keeping it ethical. I didn't pay him to be seductive towards me, and that certainly didn't help me, it harmed me. So I can understand how you want your money back, I do too, I was paying for a service I am not happy with. Plus you can add the current therapy bill to help me get over the harm he did. So yeah, he does owe me more than an apology.

Absolutely, and this is where I stand as well.




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