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Re: General thoughts on the subject of responsibility » susan47

Posted by seldomseen on August 31, 2008, at 10:04:38

In reply to Re: General thoughts on the subject of responsibility, posted by susan47 on August 30, 2008, at 17:27:21

"He was a demon who squashed me my whole life, who still does, who I feel responsible for, who I feel I created, by being some ugly awful monster."

I think this is an assumption that you need to challenge every single day. Your father may be a demon, but you certainly did not create him. You were a child. How could you? You are not an ugly awful monster. It's a tape that you can change now as an adult.

"So transference? You bet. And somehow I have to be responsible for that, too. I do."

As I said, I don't think we can help the way we feel, we can only learn from our feelings and use them as catalysts for change. Feeling transference is normal don't you think?

"And in all parties verbally and fully taking responsibility in their own part for what went wrong, in bad therapy. And this is something we don't have, yet. There is no method or system for this, and it holds up healing."

I agree, there should be some sort of rational debriefing so to speak when therapy ends badly. Instead, it usually ends up adversarial and very very emotionally charged on both parts. Therapists tend to close the ranks to protect themselves and just can't or won't admit any culpability at all. It just makes more work for us. It's too bad, because it would really benefit everyone.

"Damn it. Why does NOBODY LISTEN? It's as if I were invisible, and the more invisible I feel, the more rage I want to express."

Susan, I'm sorry I don't know your whole story, but I'm here and will listen. You are not invisible. What exactly do you want to say and who do you want to say it to?

I think you just said something very important already, that the more invisible you feel, the more rage you want to express. Do you think there are specific steps that you could take to feel less invisible?





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