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Re: Identity disturbance Quintal

Posted by susan47 on August 27, 2008, at 14:11:11

In reply to Re: Identity disturbance susan47, posted by Quintal on August 26, 2008, at 17:13:51

You may be a certain personality type that's suited to the monastic life, actually. You may have certain spiritual tendencies and ascetic values that make it difficult to live "successfully" in the world as it is.
I like to go camping and be in touch with the natural world, but I can't do that for much of the year around here, as it's rain forest and cold .. and I am really susceptible to the cold and the wet. I have been thinking of going away somewhere warm this winter, but don't want to go alone and don't want to go with anyone I don't know either, and even if I do, I am so Susceptible to mood changes that it can be Challenging to be around me.
I was seeing a therapist a few years ago, therapy went sideways on me really fast, and I suspect he learned a few things, and I suspect he's not a very good therapist in some cases, and I suspect I'm not the only "patient" hurt by him, but maybe I am. In which case I am thankful. (I'm rambling, I know)
I have huge abandonment issues, I need to be with but away from people, I have this huge comfort need, it's absolutely overwhelming at times, I don't trust people and I'm also very good at reading them, and unfortunately it turns out there really aren't a lot of nice people in the world and sometimes there are, and you can't always tell but usually I can and sometimes it's just too much, even when people are nice they can be extremely hurtful, not even knowing it. The worst is when people aren't forthcoming, when they withhold, no matter if it's good or bad, withholding and dishonesty are rampant and they hurt. And I'm human too so I'm totally aware of my own issues with all these things as well.
It sucks.
Babble is comforting, because I can pretend I'm understood. And maybe sometimes I am.
Everyone needs to be understood, understanding is hugely important.




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