Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

therapy lately

Posted by sunnydays on August 25, 2008, at 17:52:39

So therapy last time was really good I guess. We have determined I am 'growing up' and that there is a teenager part of me that is starting to show more and more in therapy, although the little girl is still there too. This is a good thing, my T says, because it means I'm becoming more solid in myself. It's also changing the dynamic between us in ways I find uncomfortable. I feel like I'm pushing him away all the time. I told him that and he said he thought we were talking about the same thing but with different words. He says he's noticed lately that I'll say, "No, that's not it," when he says something that's not right rather than pausing and considering and wavering like I did before. That's one reason he thinks I'm growing up. But it's hard for me because then I get down on myself for being a b*tch and that it's wrong to say that, etc.

He was really reassuring and he said, "I welcome you growing up." We were talking about him having been gone on vacation and I said that I was glad he came back. I also said I felt bad that I was always pushing him away all the time because at the same time I wanted to be special and that felt like it was bad that this was so important to me. He said, "Well, but you love me. And I love you. So of course it's important. I'm the first person that you've felt this way about that has consistently been nice to you. So of course you don't want to lose that - who would?" And he said some more stuff I don't remember.

I was still worried that it was wrong to want to be special and he said, "I know you want to feel special. I know. That's one thing about this - it's not conditional. You don't have to act a certain way in here or say certain things or try to make me happy. You can be however you want. It's ok to be a teenager in here with me. You can get angry in here. The worst that's going to happen is you'll hurt my feelings, and that'll last seconds at the most because I know where you're coming from and I'll understand that. You could even say, "I know that this isn't even what I'm feeling, but I hate it when you...' and that would be fine. They call it acting out - you can act out in here, it's ok to act out with me sunnydays."

So it was a very nice session, although kind of painful too. I just am so hard on myself. It's my last week of 'break' and I've been doing nothing even though there's stuff I should do. I keep getting down on myself and feeling lazy and stuff and can't let myself relax for a few days so I wrote my t an email. He said, "Glad you clued me in." I don't know what that means exactly, and some part of me keeps saying that he's not glad, he hates me, etc.

I just want to be a good person. Anyone have any ideas on how to allow myself to just be and not criticize myself so much? Also, what exactly do T's mean by 'acting out'? Sounds bad to me... Or any other responses? I wish I could see my t sooner.





Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:sunnydays thread:848257