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Re: Still in shock over termination. nebulae

Posted by twinleaf on August 23, 2008, at 10:59:15

In reply to Still in shock over termination., posted by nebulae on August 22, 2008, at 23:46:40

Dinah made some excellent points. It certainly does take two. If you decide that you want to try to repair the relationship, I think it's a good idea to be relatively calm and reasonable, the way Stella was. If both of you are feeling extremes of emotion- you rage at being abandoned so suddenly, him, rage at what he perceived, rightly or not, as some type of threat, you are both at an impasse. But if you do make the reparative gestures that I mentioned, you should reasonably expect some reciprocal gestures on his part- appreciation for your sense of responsibility, awareness of how much you value the relationship with him, awareness of the growth and gains you have made, a sense of hopefulness about your future work together. If you can stay relatively calm and rational, it will give him the best chance of getting back to a good working alliance with you. If he doesn't do his part, after you have done your best, then you do need to think about a change. But here also, he has responsibilities. He should give you the names of several good therapists, and offer support (i.e. regular sessions) as you interview the new therapists and choose one. I am not sure about this, but I think these standards have become legal regulations in some states. They are definitely considered standard ethical procedures among therapists.

 

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