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Re: Still in shock over termination. nebulae

Posted by twinleaf on August 23, 2008, at 9:03:11

In reply to Still in shock over termination., posted by nebulae on August 22, 2008, at 23:46:40

I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like a sudden, powerful emotional response on his part to your own outburst over the phone. It's especially sad because it sounds like your work together was very worthwhile- you got on really well and were able to make important changes.

I guess you could say that this comes under "rupture and repair";the question is; can you repair it? According to the research I mentioned above, you will need to do some "coaxing" - taking full responsibility for what you said, not blaming him for his reaction to your words, emphasizing how much working with him has meant to you, giving him a sense of how you intend to avoid repeating this kind of episode in the future. I think all of us can learn from what happened to you that, while we can and should say anything about our own feelings, fantasies, wishes and thoughts, we can't directly threaten our therapists. Some therapists who work with extremely disturbed patients, such as schizophrenics, become very skilled at dealing with threats, but many others aren't skilled at this. Because you don't fall into that category, he was probably not expecting you to leave the kind of message you did. I hope you can repair this. It sounds like it's a relationship very worth saving!




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