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Re: The truth has come out.

Posted by Looney Tunes on August 14, 2008, at 20:52:33

In reply to The truth has come out., posted by Amanda29 on August 14, 2008, at 19:47:28

Hey. Wow. Ok. First, I think Dinah had some really good points about respecting boundaries.
Here are some other things to think about:

1) I would NOT drive by your therapist's house. This is a boundary violation that may make many T's upset. Yes, where T's live may be public information, but purposely going by their home is almost a form of stalking. Some therapists with families might get very upset and terminate over this. Is it right? I don't know, but I can understand a T terminating over this.

2) Since you have such strong transferance with him, you need to find something to help you: a tape from him, a letter from him, something that you can feel connected to him, when you are not in session. Ask him.

3) You need to talk about your obsession with him. It is the only way to work through it. It is interesting to me that he is "new" and you have only seen him a few times and you feel this way. You seriously need to tell him. Lay it out there. Because if he can handle it, he will let you know. If he can't, at least you won't waste alot of time with him.

4) Get some activities in your life to get your mind off of therapy. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or a battered women's shelter. Become a Big Sister. These are all volunteer opportunities where the people will really need you and want to connect with you.

5) You are an adult. Yes, it is ok to be dependent, but you must also take responsibility for your behavior. I grew up a foster kid and usually go through a stage of dependency on Ts, but I also completely RESPECT them and their personal lives. I wish T could be my family and I dream of it. I talk with T about it, but truth is he is my T. I would never want to do anything to frighten him. Some T's might find stalking frightening.
You really need to be responsible for your behavior and actions. It is ok to wish and dream, but he is your T.

6) I suggest you make a rule for yourself. Something like "I will only email my T 2 times a day and call 2 times a day." This is setting a boundary for yourself. If you succeed, reward yourself with something special...a nice bath, an ice cream, etc.
Your T is setting boundaries. You need to respect them. If you do not, he could terminate you. If you respect him and want him to work with you, you need to take responsibility for your behavior.

Good luck.




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