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Re: everyone's different....... Hermitian

Posted by fleeting flutterby on August 11, 2008, at 16:25:00

In reply to This Whole Forum is Nuts!, posted by Hermitian on August 10, 2008, at 21:33:03

> Seems to me a psychologist should be an enabler of growth that is totally apart from him. You get what you need from the guy. Then you thank him, shake his hand and move on. Instead, I read all of this strange dialog in which the relationship becomes an end in of itself, rather than a mechanism to healthy independence.
> This whole thing is so dysfunctional because it is so unbounded in its obsession with therapist relationships, not personal growth.
> Man...
> -H

-----While I understand and relate to some of your upset..... it's good to keep in mind that we all come from different places mentally. Some people maybe never had anyone care about them their whole life(I know I sure didn't) and aren't at a place where they can give that care to themselves.... like a young child with a caregiver --they may live and breathe this feeling and this person.... it feels safe and they finally feel cared about.

It does concern me though, when a person continues this behavior long term.... I think the focus may become more about an obession than working on what one came to therapy for originally. There have been times in previous therapy where I have had to stop and ask myself- "Wait a minute, what did I originally come here for?"......

I get upset when my perception is that someone is stuck and been with the same therapist for 2+ years and aren't making progress, even seemingly getting worse.... it feels to me that the therapist is taking advantage of a person like this and I am a "fighter" for the wronged.... so my triggers take hold and anxiety goes up and I either have to quit reading or leave competely as I fear I'll say somehting that will be misunderstood and then "I'll" be the bad one!!

I know of someone that has been in therapy for almost 3 years with the same therapist and all she focuses on now is THAT relationship. She cuts herself for thinking sexually about him as she feels guilty about it-- so how is this therapy helping her? I don't see it ...... I tried to switch her focus on to the things she wanted to work on in the first place, but then I got chewed out for it. She has never had a problem with males anyway..... always females, so I'd think she would be better off working with a female and mending those dysfunctional mindsets, rather than playing soap-opera with her current T. (BTW-- this is not about anyone here at psychobabble, and I'm not saying anyone here is playing "soap-opera", not at all.)

hope I didn't violate any guidelines-- yikes!... kind of scared to push "submit".....

a nervous.... flutterby-mandy




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