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Re: This Whole Forum is Nuts!

Posted by wishingstar on August 11, 2008, at 12:33:48

In reply to Re: This Whole Forum is Nuts! Hermitian, posted by stellabystarlight on August 10, 2008, at 22:27:50

I hope it's okay for me to respond to this, even though it was considered uncivil. I want to respond briefly because I'm sure there are others on this site (people who post and those who dont too) who agree, completely or in part, with your feelings.

There are schools of thought in psychology/psychotherapy that place the highest value on the therapeutic relationship, above everything else. Of course there are also schools of thought that strongly disagree with this and believe that relationship is not important at all and it's really all about technique (or something else). What my opinion is doesnt really matter, I just want to make the point that while some may not agree, many professionals who are published and quite well respected in the field do value the relationship highly, as most of the posters on this board seem to. It's not without value and there is substantial research backing the idea that it is important. Now, of course that doesnt mean that everything a client could potentially do, even in the name of "the relationship", is healthy for either party, appropriate, etc. I wont draw judgment on what's described on the boards, but I think everyone could agree that both healthy and unhealthy things do get posted sometimes. I dont think a poster posting something that is "unhealthy" (says who?) needs to be condemned or ridiculed for whatever they may have done that seems "wrong" (again, very subjective). Maybe they need help seeing why their behavior is inappropriate, or help understand what is driving them to act in a certain way so they can curb the behavior, or maybe they just need support and understanding, especially if the inappropriate stuff (hypothetical) is already being worked on and discussed openly in therapy. Like the old saying about accepting the person without accepting their behavior. Sure, I dont agree with everything everyone has posted on this board, but I dont think it makes them crazy. Everyone here has difference experiences in life, is at a different stage in their recovery from different issues... it's just impossible to know everything about what's really going on behind a post unless you truly know the person very well. It might not be ideal, but it's a process. If everyone had it all figured out, none of us would be in therapy.


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