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Sorry...what a tough situation... nebulae

Posted by stellabystarlight on August 10, 2008, at 12:58:21

In reply to His experience is 40 years., posted by nebulae on August 10, 2008, at 10:50:35

Hey, I'm sorry this is happening to you. I went through a similar "nightmare" with my T in the past.

In my case, I called him out on his inconsistant behavior out of frustration, and he got scared and flipped out. He tried to end it by following protocal, but by that time I got my head together and didn't let him terminate. I knew that he couln't terminate without abandonment.

I went through the trouble of saving this relationship, because I knew that he just got scared by his countertransference. I just had to save it...we have a strong connection. I was very careful not to do or say anything that would legally give him any excuse to terminate me without making him at fault. I found out he's very stubborn and very difficult to turn around, but I did it by remaining calm and not threatening in anyway.

At our "almost last meeting", I tried to be as real and honest as I could be without putting him on defense. We ended up having an amazing meeting and have gotten closer in many ways. I understand you're in a very tough position, but I think it can be repaired.

I find it curious that he's using you not being able to pay a certain fee to not give you referrals. Has he said/done anything inappropriate with you? probably was harsh to tell him to die and f**k you, but he should be able to handle that and work through this with you. Are you paying a lot less than his usual fee? How would you characterize your relationship with him overall?

I'm sorry this is happening to you...




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