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Re: Therapist in love with me or Im crazy?? girl33

Posted by Lucie Lu on June 29, 2008, at 19:27:42

In reply to Re: Therapist in love with me or Im crazy??, posted by girl33 on June 29, 2008, at 17:00:05

Girl33, nearly all of us have felt the same as you one time or another! These relationships are sooo powerful, with potential to heal and to hurt, and the second can be a real b**ch, can't it?

Given your strong reactions to this T, finding a less-triggering one might be the best move. You can always return to this T in the future if you choose to, since you thought she was good.

Another thing to mention, one that my T has had to drum into my head again and again - it's not always about you, Lucie, he'll say. He is honest enough to tell me whether it is me or not and we've had some interesting miscues over the years. Sometimes I'd detect a reaction or some emotion in him or hear something in his voice over the phone. I'd interpret it in the context of our interaction and stew about it, only to find out later that it was something totally unrelated. Since he's "with me" (paying attention and empathizing) most of the time, I notice when he acts unusual and, like most of us, assume it is something to do with me (after all, it IS my session!). He says I'm very perceptive - easily detect nuances of his emotions - but don't necessarily know where they are coming form so often don't ascribe the correct meaning. One time I was convinced I'd hurt him badly because of the look on his face at the end of the session. It turned out he was dreading having go to court after my appt to testify in a custody case. Another time, he'd had a fight over the phone with his best friend (wife?) just before my appt; another time he was angry because his car got towed. Squirming during sessions that I thought was due to strong emotions turned out to be due to a sore back. Who knows, maybe it was really hemorrhoids but sore back sounded better! LOL- But they are human and have lives and work outside of us. Your T may have been with someone and they may have been in the middle of a session or other emotional thing themselves (an argument?) when you called. So always remember that we do see things through the filters of our own subjectivity.

Let us know how it's going. Looking forward to hearing how your search for a new T goes! Best of luck.




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