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more urgent crisis now

Posted by B2chica on June 27, 2008, at 14:09:52

In reply to Re: How do i tell T something B2chica, posted by rskontos on June 27, 2008, at 11:51:04

i've noticed myself going down (depression) i think attributing to the eating issue lately but today i crashed i was low this morning. and sad couldn't concentrate, can't think. like a slug.

can't function at work. I HATE THIS.

got teary, So i tried to freakin help myself...
my pdoc's out of town till tuesday. i later called backing thinking i'll talk to nurse or on call doc cuz i have solution maybe till doc back, nurse wont answer questions and no doc...yes that's what they told me. i asked no 'on call", nope. but i can call the mental health center (county operated...and YIKES brings horror back for me)

but i called, i got transfered, and hold and hold and disconnected. so i had to call back (taunting me) transfered on hold on hold...i hung up.

i called hospital mental health center talked to nurses..they can't give med advice for legal reasons..i understand.

mean time i've emailed T twice and posted on babblemeds board no response from either.

now i'm tearing up and starting to cry here and there. then i thought i'd call where i get my perscriptions. my pharmacist. all i want to do is up my lex back from 5 to 10 with my wellbutrin.
-after 20 min and LONG conversation though she was VERY nice and helpful, her point was "A PERSON" can take 10 and wellbutrin, but no point cuz takes too long to work, and the wellbutrin takes 3-4 WEEKS to work!!
the kicker...
she 'knows' people who are bipolar and its good that i'm ..and i quote..."not giving up", shes know some people that have bipolar that just gave up...!!! what does that mean??!! did they die?? are they living with their parents? do they own dot com companies?? WHAT??
i could barely get the words "have a nice day" out of my mouth and hung up with her and started to bawl.
i took my phone and keys and got out of the lab and back to my office. i locked the door and checked messages and boards again...NOTHING.

i was going to call my GP and ask, but last time the nurse wouldn't help cuz my GP wasn't the prescribing physician...but then i crying by this time and just decided to call and make an appointment. I called and GUESS FREAKING WHAT?? yep both Docs are out of town till monday and only the PA (which i don't like) is there...
is there some convention i don't know about?

now i hung up and full out cried for 3 min.
i remembered my friend who's becoming a doc. i didn't know if he'd feel uncomfortable or not but i called him, i told him a quick version of why i needed help and asked him all i wanted to know and if he could tell me.

HE SAID OF COURSE I CAN TELL YOU THAT....he checked it out and said there should be no problem. i'd take it and just see, cuz theraputic dose is only at 10 and if i'm at 5 there's nothing there anyway. and i said crying "ya i can tell"-sarcastically and in tears. and kept apologizing about the crying...he said no problem.

so i just hung up with him and T emailed back and said same thing. go to 10 of lex.
so i'm feeling better about that but i'm still teary.
i need to go back in the other room but people come in and out and i don't want to be crying. so i'll go in a few minutes.

Thanks for letting me VENT ALL THIS.
i'll worry about my eating later.




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