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Re: Does anyone ever wonder-what's the point?

Posted by seldomseen on June 18, 2008, at 16:04:52

In reply to Does anyone ever wonder-what's the point?, posted by meme3842 on June 18, 2008, at 0:40:13

Sure I've wondered what the point was. I think most of us have at sometime or another. In fact, there have been times when my therapy has just been downright boring.

Even though I didn't realize it, those downtimes for me were very good. It helped me to just talk to my therapist - not about the really big issues necessarily, but just to talk.

There are a lot of things I think that therapy isn't. I don't think that therapy per se will help you get over your previous therapist. It may help you to understand why you still ache for her, what she gave you that is now missing, and what you can do to help yourself.

I think you have to grieve her loss in your own way. I would give yourself time to do just that. Grief isn't pathological, aching for someone isn't pathological either, it's just an emotional response to a loss. No more no less.

As far as mothering yourself - that's easier said than done, especially since a lot of us didn't really have a model for a mother. Essentially I think what mothering yourself means is taking care of yourself first, just like a mother usually puts the child's need ahead of hers. It requires listening to yourself. I mean really listening to yourself and what you want and need.

For instance if a mom has a cranky, fussy baby sometimes a warm bath will soothe it. If you are upset, seek out ways to soothe yourself. Allow yourself good, healthy food and ensure that you feel safe in your home and surroundings.

As far as a social life goes, well, I would be perfectly happy being a hermit. However, I sought out something that I thought I might really enjoy and started doing it. It put me in touch with a lot of people that had very similar interests to me and before you know it - the crazy cat lady (me) had friends!

But even being social starts at home and when you're ready - you'll reach out I think.





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